


Enigma

by Missy3000



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, Rivals to Lovers, Shiro is missing, confusing feelings, intense feelings, keith is a tired boi, tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy3000/pseuds/Missy3000
Summary: Time has become irrelevant. Keith trains, he sits in meetings, he eats, sometimes he sleeps, sometimes he just roams the castle, checks the maps again. He is so very tired. But when he is laying in bed his head is running marathons.And then there are times, when he tries to sleep, and all he can think about are blue eyes and pink lips and brown skin and he gets so aroused he wants to punch something. Preferably Lance. But he can’t and so he just has an angry wank and a cold shower.Or: Keith is tired and has intense feelings and maybe they will figure it out together.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Kudos: 43





	Enigma

Lance is an enigma. Yesterday he yelled at Keith until his voice got hoarse and his hands were clutching Keith’s collar, today he imitated a siren just to put a bandaid on Keith’s cheek.  
Keith watched him, arms stretched out, still making the siren noise, as he left the room. The warmth from the feeling of his fingers still lingered on his cheek.  
Lance is an enigma. One Keith wishes he would have the time to stare at, to figure out, to find all the buttons and solve them.  
But he doesn’t, there is a war going on and there are people depending on him. And he is fine with that. The universe gave him a purpose, it finally said “Hey kid, you have the right to exist. Your existence is valid.” and Keith will never let that go. But sometimes when he watches Lance blabbering on, braiding Allura’s hair, smiling to himself, Keith begs the universe for some time. Just a little bit of time to grab this boy and figure out how he is built. 

Lance is irritating. He is slightly annoying on the best days and utterly infuriating on the worst. “You look like you bit into a lemon.”, he said. He was leaning against Keith’s door, had woken him up and now he was all smug. “Fuck off, Lance.”, Keith retorted. Irritating, he thought.  
Lance just winked at him. “Breakfast is ready.”, he said and left. Keith looked at his clock. He overslept, again, third time this week. How could this happen? He needed to focus, he needed to be there, he couldn’t oversleep. But his limbs are tired, they are aching, his eyes are burning, he wants to sleep so desperately, he just wants a break, a little bit of time. But there is a war going on and Shiro is still missing and he needs to fucking focus.  
Lance doesn’t look at him all morning. Keith hates himself for noticing it. Pidge looks at him. She looks worried. “Please, let’s meet in ten minutes on the training deck.”, Allura says. I need a break, Keiths legs scream, I need some sleep. Keith goes and changes. 

Time has become irrelevant. Keith trains, he sits in meetings, he eats, sometimes he sleeps, sometimes he just roams the castle, checks the maps again. He is so very tired. But when he is laying in bed his head is running marathons, his hands are trembling and he sees Shiro, dead. So he doesn’t sleep. He walks around, he thinks about strategies, he trains until his body is screaming.  
And then there are times, when he tries to sleep, and all he can think about are blue eyes and pink lips and brown skin and he gets so aroused he wants to punch something. Preferably Lance. But he can’t and so he just has an angry wank and a cold shower.  
Tonight is not one of those nights. Tonight his feet are taking him though the halls, along the white walls and he thinks nothing.  
“Can you give me that pillow over there?” Keith looks up. He landed at the end of the hallway, met with the glass front and behind it the universe. “What?” He focuses his eyes and sees Lance, sitting in a mountain of pillows, weirdly stacked on each other. He smiles. “That blue pillow, can you give it to me?”  
“Sure.” Keith gives him the pillow, Lance places it on another one, looks at it, like that made any sense, and the scooches to one side. “Sit.”, he says.  
“I’m not a dog, Lance.” But Keith sits down anyway. “What do you think?” Lance gestures to the pillow mountain. Keith stares at it. “I don’t get it.”  
“It’s a fort?” Keith just blinks. “Dude, have you never built a pillow fort before?”  
“No, where is the use in that, pillows are very easy to overcome, Lance. Forts are meant to protect you.”  
Lance laughs, his eyes crinkle and he is beautiful. Keith is still confused. “It’s not…” He still laughs, “It’s just something kids built to hide in.” He smiles.  
“Do you want to hide?”, Keith asks. He can feel Lance’s arm next to his. Confusing, irritating, close, warm.  
“Sometimes. It’s comforting, you know?” Keith hums. He doesn’t. Hiding feels stupid. Especially in a mountain of pillows. But it is comfortable.  
“Me and my sister built these all the time, when we were young. We would steal all the pillows in the house and built the biggest fort in the living room. Papa would curse, because he couldn’t walk through anymore.” Lance still smiles and Keith wishes he would do that all the time. “How many siblings do you have?”, ha asks, and leans against the pillows and a bit against Lance.  
“Five. One is older, then there are me and my sister. We are twins, you know, and then there are the two little ones.” Lance rambles on, talks about his family, talks about his mum, their neighbors and Keith is so tired and Lance is so warm.  
He wakes up. His eyes are heavy and his arm is numb. Groaning, he stirs, but there is something heavy lying on his chest. Keith looks down and sees brown locks, sees golden skin, see Lance. He feels his breath on his collarbone. Keith freezes, scared he to wake Lance, scared to let him sleep, scared of the feelings bubbling in his stomach. So he just does nothing. He waits, he tries to find Lance’s heartbeat and can’t be sure if it isn’t his own.  
Lance stirs, Lance yawns, Lance gets up, fast like a lighting bolt. He stares at Keith. “Uh...”, he says. Keith just stares back. “Uh…”, Lance says again and stands up, grabs a few pillows and looks around. “We should probably clean this up.”  
“I didn’t have anything to do with this.”, Keith says and tries to wake up his brain, tries not to stare at Lance rosy cheeks and bed-hair.  
“You slept in it, you deal with it.”, Lance says and throws a pillow at him. And Keith doesn’t know what to do, so he just complies.  
It hits him in the evening, that he was rested today, that his eyes didn’t burn, that his muscles didn’t ache. ‘Hmm’, he thinks and tucks that knowledge back for later.

The next day at breakfast Lance throw a napkin at him and Keith’s insides boil at his smug smile. He wants to punch him, he wants to rip that smirk of his face, to see blood on his lips and then to lick it up. Keith growls and leaves the cafeteria. He needs a shower, preferably a cold one.  
Lance teases him all through training, he kicks him, he plays dirty and then he lands a punch in Keith’s gut and has the audacity to laugh. “Asshole.”, Keith grunts and tackles Lance to the ground. Lance stops laughing, but he still grins. “Yes, punch me harder.”, he says in a low voice, his eyes glistening and Keith feels like he is exploding. So instead he rams his knee into Lance’s stomach and watches him squirm.  
They stay clear of each other after that. Keith is fuming, he is boiling, he is tired, he is so very tired. There is a knock on his door, light, scared.  
“It’s open.”  
Lance pokes his head through the door. “Hunk made cookies. You wanna try?” Keith looks at him, he considers, he sighs. “Yes.”  
Lance smiles, drops down on Keith’s bed and hands him a blueish-greenisch disk. Keith looks at it. “Are you trying to poison me?”  
Lance chuckles. “No, dude. What would we be without our leader?” And the he bites into another cookies and his eyes are open and trusting.  
Lance is confusing, to say the least. 

Keith want to kiss him, wants to take him, wants to hold him close. ‘Stay with me’, he wants to say.  
Keith groans and lets his head fall down on the documents he is reading right now. Being the leader is hard, having a crush is hard, living is hard.  
“Hey mullet.” Lance comes in the room and plops down on the chair next to Keith, “What’cha doing?”  
And Keith is to tired to get annoyed by the nickname. “I’m trying to compile a list of all the allies we have, where they are in the galaxy, how to contact them and their specialties.” Lance hums and takes one of the documents.  
“Is this the list?”, he asks, pointing on the sheet in front of Keith. “Yeah.” Lance hums again, grabs the paper, reads it over and nods to himself. Then he scribbles a name down. “What are you doing?”, Keith asks. “Assisting.” Lance doesn’t look up, he scans the document in his hands, writes something else down. And Keith wants to kiss him, to hold him, to stay by his side forever.  
‘God fucking dammit’, he thinks and gets back to work.  
“I’m bunking with Keith.”, Lance shouts and grins. “Ok.”, Allura says, “Just don’t destroy the room.”  
They are staying over night on a planet Keith forgot the name of. Shiro would have never forgot, he would have know.  
“Nice.”, Lance says and grins at Keith.  
The room they are sharing isn’t to big, it has two single beds and a big window front. “Nice.”, Lance says again, the sun is shining through his hair, he looks comfortable, at ease, happy. Keith looks at himself in the glass. He looks more dead then alive.  
There is a hand on his shoulder. “Are you ok?” Keith looks at Lance, at blue eyes and for a moment on rosy lips, lips so close.  
“Yeah.”, he says and takes a step back, “Just tired.”  
“Ok. You wanna take a nap or do you want to come with me? Explore a little bit, maybe buy some weird food?”  
He should stay in, should go over the documents again, think about what he is going to say in the meeting late, should stay away from lance, should stay safe.  
“Sure.”, he says.  
Lance finds some weird food. It takes a bit like marshmallows, it tastes a bit like chocolate. Lance beams. “We should stock up on this.”, he says and devours another piece. Keith just nods. His arms feel heavy, Lance is smiling and he is so close.  
“Sure.”, he say again. Lance frowns. “You just don’t appreciate them enough. Here have another. Then you will learn.”  
But Keith feels already sick to the stomach. “No thanks.”  
“Try one.”  
“No.”  
Lance holds the candy up to his face. “Try.”, he says.  
“No.”  
And then Lance smushes the candy to Keith’s mouth until he eats it, he laughs and Keith wants to scream, wants to kiss him, destroy him, savor him.  
“You’re stupid.”, he says, but there is sugar on his tongue and sweetness in his words and Lance just smiles. “Let’s get you back to the meeting.”, he says. 

It’s warm in the room. Keith can hear Lance sleeping, his breath, faint snores from time to time. He thinks his heart may explode.  
The meeting has gone well, Lance had congratulated him afterwards, had fixed his tie and smiled. Keith likes that they are getting along, likes having Lance close, but he is scared of himself. There will be a moment of weakness, and he will destroy everything, he just knows it.

Keith feels like they are going backwards. They were fine on that planet, they were fine in the same room. Lance had smiled at him, had encouraged him, he even boasted about him to a few aliens. And now they were panting, shouting, going at each other with fists and words.  
“God, I hate you.”, Keith says, his hand in Lance’s shirt and he wants to cry. He doesn’t even know why they are fighting any more. Granted, he mostly doesn’t know. But somehow he always ends up here, too close to Lance with all the wrong reasons.  
“God, I hate you.”, Keith says and the lie burns on his tongue.  
Lance just scoffs. “Yea, sure. Like I would care, like anyone would care what you think.” Keith throws him against the wall. It makes an ugly sound and Lance looks like he is in pain. For a second Keith regrets everything, for a second he wants to rush to Lance, wants to hold him, check his body for bruises. He wants to cry.  
But Lance just bounces back and glares at him. “Look at me. I am Keith.”, he taunts and straightens his shirt, “If I have to many emotions I let them out in aggression. I am smart like that. Look at me pushing everyone away again.”  
Keith’s head is buzzing, his fists are tingling, his heart screams. With one step he is in front of Lance. “Shut up.”  
“Yeah, that would serve you right.” Lance scoffs.  
“Shut the fuck up.”, Keith says, his mind is blank now. He is so confused, he is so tired and Lance is standing there, with hate in his eyes and venom in his voice. “Shut the fuck up.”, Keith says again, because he is desperate for it. He needs a moment of silence, he needs to collect himself.  
Lance glares, he opens his mouth, probably for a smart remark, but Keith can’t take it. So he does the only thing that comes to his mind. He kisses Lance. He kisses him, holds him by the shoulder, hold him by the waits, holds him close. He presses everything into the kiss. It’s not the most comfortable, he is to aggressive, he can feel Lance flutter under him, maybe he wants to get away. And Keith knows he should let him, that he is being creepy, but he can’t. Just one second more, he says to himself and moves his lips slightly on Lance. He can feel how soft they are, warm and sweet. He can feel Lance’s heartbeat on his chest, he can feel his breath.  
Then there are hand on his shoulders and he expects to be pushed away. But instead he is pulled closer and they stumble back against the wall. Lance is kissing him, he is moving he mouth, nibbling on his lip, his tongue a faint whisper on his lips. There are hands in Keith’s hair and he can’t help it, he groans on the light pull. His mind just screams Lance and he doesn’t know if he can ever stop.  
They do, stop that is. Lance pulls away, his head is hitting against the wall. Keith looks at him, at swollen lips and all he wants to do is dive in again. But then he looks at Lance eyes and there are tears threatening to spill. Lance is almost crying.  
It’s like someone had thrown cold water at him. Keith brings space between them, he straightens his shirt, he looks at Lance. Lance, who is looking at him with wide eyes, still panting.  
“I’m sorry.”, Keith whispers and then he runs. 

Keith doesn’t look at Lance. Not in the meetings, not during training, not during dinner time. He can feel Lance staring at him, feels his eyes burning through his skull.  
He can’t sleep anymore. He just sits in his bed and stares at the wall, his head painting a picture of Lance. Lance with swollen lips, Lance panting, Lance crying.  
Keith throws his pillow against the wall and screams. He wants to punch something, he wants to rip his skin of his body, he wants to sleep. He doesn’t.  
He keeps avoiding Lance, he keeps awake, he tries his best. The team is wavering, he notices that and there is guilt in his mouth, he feels like throwing up.  
They are on another planet. It is bright and loud. It is a party. They freed the inhabitants from the galra. Every time they do that, it looses impact, Keith thinks. Because there is always another planet waiting, more people suffering, it never stops.  
Lance looks radiant. He is dressed in a blue suit, his hair almost curly and he is laughing. Keith concentrates on him and tries to forget his headache and the aching in his bones.  
Lance laughs again and Keith is jealous of the guy he is talking to. You got only to blame yourself for that, he thinks and feels like crying.  
But he can’t cry. Not here. He already feels so weak. It is too loud, too bright, too everything and Lance is laughing and Lance is right there, and he can’t reach him.  
He should sleep, Keith thinks, sleep sounds so good. When was the last time he has done that?  
And then Lance looks at him. Lance looks at him and his smile falters and his body goes tense.  
He is still so beautiful, Keith thinks, so god damn beautiful. And then everything turns black.

“Fatigue.”, he hears Coran say. “I think he hasn’t slept in a while.”  
Keith groans. His head still hurts and he doesn’t know where he is. Normally, he would be panicked, but he is to tired.  
Someone says something and Keith wants to keep his eyes open, wants to look at them. “Lance?”, he asks and then he is gone again. 

Keith is floating, everything is white and fluffy. He is walking on clouds.  
“Keith.”, someone calls. Keith turns around and there is Lance. Lance in his shirt and jacket, Lance laughing, Lance radiating warmth. “Keith.”, he says again and opens his arms.  
“Lance.”, Keith, all but sobs, Lance. But then he is gone again. Everything is gone and Keith is alone. “Lance.”, he screams and wakes up. 

There is a knock on his door, the first time he goes back to his own bed. He had beenn sleeping for three days and he still feels a little groggy.  
“Yes?”  
The door opens and there is Lance and everything Keith wants to do is to pull him in and hold him close.  
“Yes?”, he asks instead.  
“We need to talk.”  
“Lance, I am tired.”, he says. I am scared, he thinks.  
“You just slept three days. You don’t have an excuse anymore.” Lance walks in and sits down on his bed. Then he says nothing for a while. Lance looks tired too. There are bags under his eyes and his hair is unkempt.  
“What do you want to talk about?” Keith crosses his arms.  
“You said my name, you know? When you were asleep.”  
Keith swallows, hard.  
“Almost screamed it. Almost gave me a heart attack.”  
“Sorry.”, Keith says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. Lance shakes his head and then he looks up.  
“Keith, what is going on between us?”  
“What do you mean?” Keith asks and his head screams, deny it, run away, don’t let him close, he is gonna hurt you.  
“What do I mean?” Lance scoffs, “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe that on one day we build a pillow fort together, the you kiss me senseless, only to run away immediately and ignore me for the better part of a month. And then you fucking look at me and fall in a coma. Keith, you looked so dead. So I am scared out of my mind and you are sleeping, calling my name… I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know. What the fuck is going on with you?”  
They are fighting again, Keith notices. And he is so tired and Lance is so close, looks so hurt and all he wants to do is hold him, hold him, hold him.  
He cries. Right then and there, the pressure he has felt for months peeling of his shoulders, streaming out of his eyes. He just can’t take it anymore. “I’m sorry.”, he says and falls to his knees, to weak to stand all of a sudden.  
“Keith.”, Lance says and falls to the round next to him, lays his arms around him, pulls him in, until Keith is half sitting in his lap. “Keith, what the fuck?”  
Keith hiccups and cries and feels Lance warmth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you, I know I ruined everything, I just… I couldn’t… I’m sorry.”  
“Oh Keith.” Lance pulls him closer. “You are an idiot. You are such an idiot.”  
“What?”  
“You didn’t ruin anything. I mean you did, by running away, but not by kissing me. “  
He didn’t?  
“I didn’t?  
“No.”  
“But…” But there were tears in Lance’s eyes, he was so sure of it.  
“But you were crying?” Keith looked up at Lance, his blue eyes, his lips. Did this mean he could kiss him again?  
“I am just full of emotion. Dude, you overwhelmed me, I mean we were kinda in the middle of a really intense fight.”  
“Hmm.” Keith considered this. He considered Lance.  
“Ok.”, he said and sat up again, fell out of Lance’s lap. “Ok.”, he said. His fingertips were burning to touch Lance, his heart was racing.  
“Ok.”, Lance said. And then they stared, stared till their eyes were burning.  
“Keith…”, Lance said, his voice was soft, vulnerable and Keith couldn’t take it anymore. He lunged forward, found hold on Lance’s shoulders and his lips. He kissed him and everything was burning. Lance whimpered, out of surprise, maybe. But he pulled Keith closer by the hips, their knees awkwardly bumping into each other. Keith crawled back into Lance’s lap. He was here, he was so close, Keith could hold him, could hold onto him.  
I love you, his body screamed, I love you so much it hurts me But he didn’t say it. Instead he kept kissing Lance until his lips went numb. 

“Why did you pass out at the party?”, Lance asked. They were laying in Keith’s bed, Lance was painting constellations on Lance’s skin.  
“I didn’t sleep.”, he said and continued. Lance’s skin was warm, golden, soft.  
“For how long?”  
Keith thought about that. He didn’t really know. It had all become a blur.  
“I think I stopped after we kissed on the training deck.”  
Lance sat up on that. “What?”  
Keith just hummed.  
“Keith, that were three weeks.”  
“I couldn’t sleep. I never really can.” Lance looked worried. “Keith.”, he whined and Keith just wanted to kiss him. “That’s not ok.”  
“Nah. Wasn’t that fun.” Lance shook his head and the Keith’s shoulders. “Please never do that again. I was so scared when you passed out. Please, promise me to take care of yourself.”  
“I’ll try my best.”, Keith said and he knew he would. He had something to fight for. Shiro still had to be found, Voltron was still needed and he wasn’t alone anymore. “I’ll try my best.”, he said and Lance pulled him into a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
